I'll give you Holy Handgrenade!

Brother:    And the Lord spake, saying, First shalt
            thou take out the Holy Pin.

            Then, shalt thou count to three, no more,
            no less.

            Three shalt be the number thou shalt
            count, and the number of the counting
            shalt be three.

            Four shalt thou not count,
            nor either count thou two, excepting that
            thou then proceed to three.

            Five is right out. 

            Once the number three,
            being the third number, be reached, then
            lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of
            Antioch towards thy foe, who being
            naughty in my sight, shall snuf it.

Maynard: Amen.

All: Amen.

Arthur: Right! One. . . two. . . five!